Random Ramblings of an Uninspired Writer

Sometimes I sit at my computer and just stare at the screen. I know that may sound a bit weird to some of you, but anyone who has ever undergone the process of needing inspiration to write can attest to this. Once in a while, my muse will check in and give me oodles of inspiration and those are the days I come up with the quirky tales that I talk so much about (and I am sure some of you are tired of hearing about/reading) But then there are those days when I think that I have received a visit from my mysteriously erratic muse, so I get out my writing gear and sit down at the computer to write. Then I proceed to waste an hour or two writing and re-writing one paragraph or if I get lucky, one page. So sometimes, maybe as a way to beckon my aberrant muse, I open a new document on my word processor and sit at the computer and just stare at the cursor as it blinks in front of me.

This strategy has never worked, but that is beside the point. Most of us have things that we do without knowing why exactly we do them and what result we expect from doing so. One such thing that I have observed in our popular culture is trying to erase people from our lives. This happens especially when the people have catalyzed or caused what qualifies as a ‘disaster’ in our lives. We do all in our mortal power to forget that these people exist. I should say that I am probably the biggest culprit in this. I have tried to erase a few too many people from my life severally and every time I do try to erase them, something keeps on bringing very loud reminders of their existence back to me. From ex-girlfriends to high school friends that we only tolerated because we were all in one school, most of us have someone or some people that we actively try to remove from our minds by erasing the physical memories we have of them. I have heard of people who burned all the gifts that their ex partners gave them, others who literally cut (or cropped) people out of photos, and yet others who cleared their phones of messages and phone numbers associated with that person. Personally, I am guilty of the last one :-D

But all of you culpable of one of the above strategies or any one of the myriad of other strategies know for a fact that they don’t work. There’ll be that one thing that you hold too close to your heart to burn. Or that one text message that made your day every day for a whole week and you can’t bring yourself to delete. Or that life changing experience that you had with that friend which runs through your mind every time you are dreamily talking to someone about how your life changed since then. When this happens, most of us do one of two things: we either go on a serious memory purge by reaching for drugs and/or alcohol (or chocolate) to help us forget or we smile and move on without giving it much more thought.

Those who go the purge way always end up regretting it the next morning (or the next time they step on a weighing scale) In my opinion, these are people who really haven’t moved on from the bad experience, however much they may tell themselves and others that they are over it. Every reminder serves to make this hole that they have in their hearts bigger and bigger and if they don’t realize it soon enough, most of them implode and that’s how so many drug addicts and alcoholics are created.

The people I wholly respect are those who smile and move on. Those are the signs of people who realized that they need to move on and they got up, brushed themselves off and moved on. It takes a whole lot to realize where you are. But once you do, the release you get by moving on is way better than any drug. We should all aim to somehow realize that the bad experiences have passed and it’s up to us to move on. Most importantly, it’s not good to totally isolate yourself from these people whom you are trying to erase from your life. Granted, interacting with someone who, in your brain, has some stigma attached to them can be weird. That doesn’t mean that they cannot add any value to your life. I have learnt the hard way that sometimes the people you really need are the same people that you are trying the most to erase from your life. So try to re-establish your connections with these people.
Right. Now let me get back to staring at my screen and wondering when my muse will pass me by…..